


don't trust the avengers with phones

by lifeisawaffle



Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Unbelievable Gwenpool
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Instagram DMs, LGBTQ Character, Multi, Protective!Nat, Texting, lots of memes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2019-06-24 16:20:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 6,443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15634299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lifeisawaffle/pseuds/lifeisawaffle
Summary: It's 3 AM and Wanda can't sleep. So, she makes a group chat with random people on Instagram to make up the time.





	1. day 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wanna be more active so have this ig? I will be posting for 100 days (because I have the time for that lmao) (I really don't you shouldn't trust me with this)

_scarletw1ch has started a conversation with quicksilver, natromanoff, cl1nt, therealtonystark, americanboy, thehulk, falcon, james_barnes, starlord, cool_kid16, deadpool, gwenpoole, thor, and gstacy_

 

_Thurday, 3:02 AM_

 

scarletw1tch: hey guys!

 

thehulk: what are we doing here?

 

cl1nt: hello?

 

thor: who is everyone? I do not know any of you

 

scarletw1tch: sorry I just got bored and I couldn't sleep

 

quicksilver: wanDA IT IS 3 IN THE FUCKING MORNING GO TO BED

 

americanboy: LANGUAGE

 

therealtonystark ✔️: fuck

 

thehulk: holy shit did u srsly add tony stark? and he replied?

 

therealtonystark ✔️: yeah man

 

scarletw1tch: whoops I may have added u by accident

 

scarletw1tch: but im happy u responded!!!

 

therealtonystark ✔️: cool

 

americanboy: tony what do you even do?

 

therealtonystark ✔️: do you really want to know?

 

cl1nt: N O

 

natromanoff: what's going on here?

 

cl1nt: oh hey nat

 

quicksilver: you guys know each other?

 

cl1nt: know each other?

 

natromanoff: we live with each other

 

quicksilver: oh kool

 

cl1nt: @ scarletw1tch follow me back hoe!!!

 

scarletw1tch: oh sorry

 

quicksilver: do u want me to follow u too? or? nah?

 

cl1nt: oh yee sure

 

quicksilver: YES ANOTHER PERSON WHO SAYS YEE

 

cool_kid16: yee

 

therealtonystark ✔️: kid wtf is your username

 

cool_kid16: it describes what I am and my age

 

cool_kid16: SHIT I WASNT SUPPOSED TO SAY MY AGE TO STRANGERS

 

scarletw1tch: chill dude idc 

 

scarletw1tch: u have ur profile on public and ur like a 2 year old boy. I don't like 2 year olds

 

quicksilver: u dont like anyone

 

natromanoff: do u guys know each other?

 

quicksilver: that's my twin

 

americanboy: so ur name is wanda?

 

scarletw1tch: DAMN IT PIETRO U SAID MY NAME 

 

natromanoff: awww u were named after the fairly odd parents?

 

quicksilver: baHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

scarletw1tch: fuck u

 

natromanoff: oh honey u wish ;)

 

scarletw1tch: ew

 

natromanoff: :(

 

cl1nt: lol nat got rejected for once

 

natromanoff: STFU CLIT

 

natromanoff: CLINT*

 

therealtonystark ✔️: LMAO CLIT

 

americanboy: … ew

 

scarletw1tch: that's what I said

 

natromanoff: hey wanda, wheres ur cosmo

 

scarletw1tch: he left me for a gangster and is probably homeless now and sells drugs with his high boyfriend and probably has a rock in his head which is his brain bcoz hes a stupid jackass

 

natromanoff: ...

 

natromanoff: so u single?

 

scarletw1tch: ew

 

cl1nt: r e j ec t e d

 

natromanoff: CLINT I STG I WILL COME OVER THERE AND TWIST UR NIPS TO HARD U WONT BE ABLE TO FEEL YOUR TITS FOR A WEEK

 

cl1nt: ...

 

cl1nt: im sorry...

 

cl1nt: ohmygod waNDA UR ADORABLE!!!

 

cl1nt: 

 

therealtonystark ✔️: MUST! PROTECC!

 

scarletw1tch: this is what happens when I accept ppls follow request...

 

natromanoff: D A M N

 

natromanoff: AND U SINGLE?

 

deadpool: so I just come online and I see a cinnamon roll that I need to protect with my life...

 

natromanoff: that's my cinnamon roll!

 

scarletw1tch: no im not

 

quicksilver: I ship it

 

scarletw1tch: of course you would

 

quicksilver: guys wanda hit me...

 

cl1nt: awww poor bby

 

quicksilver: it hurts ...

 

deadpool: but @ natromanoff ur also adorable

 

deadpool: and hot

 

deadpool: 

 

quicksilver: wanda why did I hear a thump coming from ur room?

 

scarletw1tch: I fell

 

quicksilver: oh makes sense

 

quicksilver: wait why I thought u were sitting down?

 

scarletw1tch: ...

 

scarletw1tch: never mind that

 

natromanoff: oof how did u get that picutre

 

deadpool: ur account is public

 

natromanoff: oh right

 

natromanoff: crap I meant to make it private

 

cl1nt: u had ur account on private yesterday?

 

natromanoff: nO I DIDNT CLIT STFU

 

americanboy: … I stg you guys are crazy

 

james_barnes: good morning?

 

quicksilver: morning? it's fucking 3 AM

 

james_barnes: oh in my time it's 10 AM

 

natromanoff: same here

 

james_barnes: oh u live in Russia too?

 

natromanoff: да

 

james_barnes: наконец, еще один русский

 

scarletw1tch: COULD WE NOT SPEAK IN RUSSIAN????

 

americanboy: please?

 

james_barnes: oh sorry

 

americanboy: finally someone who listens to me

 

therealtonystark ✔️: I listen to u

 

americanboy: no u dont

 

therealtonystark ✔️: o shit ur right

 

americanboy: LANGUAGE

 

james_barnes: LANGUAGE

 

therealtonystark ✔️: ...

 

therealtonystark ✔️: this group chat is so full of gay

 

scarletw1tch: im pan not gay

 

therealtonystark ✔️: we should all say our sexualities then

 

therealtonystark: im bi

 

scarletw1tch: pan

 

quicksilver: gay

 

james_barnes: gay

 

americanboy: pan

 

cl1nt: bi

 

thehulk: pan

 

natromanoff: lesbian

 

deadpool: gay

 

cool_kid16: straight

 

therealtonystark ✔️: ok so that's everyone that's online

 

falcon: im also straight

 

james_barnes: oh hi

 

falcon: hey

 

falcon: quick question

 

falcon: @ james_barnes wtf is ur profile picture

 

james_barnes: … 

 

james_barnes: its a drawing of a dog...

 

falcon: but it looks so

 

falcon: human?

 

scarletw1tch: wait does that mean youre a-

 

falcon: UR A FURRY

 

james_barnes: ...

 

james_barnes: let me live ಥ_ಥ

 

therealtonystark ✔️: alright now lets say our names so we dont have to call each other by our usernames

 

therealtonystark ✔️: im tony

 

scarletw1tch: wanda

 

falcon: sam

 

americanboy: steve rogers

 

quicksilver: Pietro maximoff

 

natromanoff: natasha

 

cl1nt: clint

 

james_barnes: bucky

 

therealtonystark ✔️: great now none of us are strangers

 

scarletw1tch: well except for the bunch of ppl who aren't online right now

 

therealtonystark ✔️: right

 

quicksilver: im going to bed

 

scarletw1tch: so am I

 

natromanoff: gn wanda! 


	2. day 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bucky slides into steve's dms

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my mom showed me this movie and she was like 'it's gay' so I watched it with her and all the gay ppl in the movie were legit satan or psychos and muderers
> 
> and i was like 'mom i swear we're not all like this'
> 
> and she started laughing and was like 'u are satan tho' and now i cri all the time

_james_barnes started a conversation with americanboy_

 

_Saturday, 7:36 PM_

 

james_barnes: so steve rogers

 

americanboy: yup

 

james_barnes: can u accept my follow request?

 

americanboy: oh yeah sure

 

americanboy: how do I do that?

 

james_barnes: holy frick 

 

james_barnes: how old are you even?

 

james_barnes: you've gotta be like 100 then

 

americanboy: nah man i'm 37

 

james_barnes: oh ur only 2 years older than me then

 

americanboy: only?

 

james_barnes: yeah

 

james_barnes: once youre 50 then you're old

 

americanboy: gee thanks

 

americanboy: now how do I accept your follow request

 

james_barnes: so u see that red icon under the heart?

 

americanboy: yeah

 

james_barnes: tap that and then u will see an icon saying 'follow requests' or shizz like that

 

americanboy: and I tap that?

 

james_barnes: yuppers

 

americanboy: OHMYGOD THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE

 

james_barnes: great now accept all the people you want to follow you

 

james_barnes: like me

 

americanboy: what if I want to accept all of them

 

james_barnes: then press 'accept all'

 

americanboy: thanks bucky

 

james_barnes: np bro :)

 

james_barnes: holy cow how many people requested to follow you?

 

americanboy: a lot

 

james_barnes: YOU ALREDY HAVE 1k FOLLOWERS

 

americanboy: is that good?

 

james_barnes: I cant get over 300!!!!

 

americanboy: maybe if you set your prfpic to urself and post pics of urself instead of animal humans u would get more followers

 

james_barnes: oh no no no no no

 

james_barnes: people won't like the way I look I know that

 

americanboy: why not?

 

james_barnes: ive got...

 

james_barnes: I look...

 

james_barnes: different... from others

 

americanboy: ill be the judge of that

 

james_barnes: *sigh* oh dont say I didn't warn you

 

james_barnes: 

 

americanboy: HOLY FUCK

 

americanboy: I mean

 

james_barnes: I know...

 

james_barnes: I have only one arm...

 

americanboy: YOU ARE HOT

 

james_barnes: you really think so?

 

americanboy: Y E S 

 

james_barnes: gee thanks

 

americanboy: NOW GO CHANGE THAT TO UR PROFILE PIC

 

james_barnes: NO THATS MY WORST PIC

 

americanboy: IF THATS UR WORST THAN OMG U MUST BE A GOD

 

james_barnes: ugh ok ill brb

 

americanboy: OMG WHAT IF UR PROFILE PICTURE

 

james_barnes: 

 

james_barnes: hey steve is it okay if I see what u look like?

 

americanboy: ok

 

americanboy: 

 

james_barnes: holy ballz u are gorgeous 

 

americanboy: you think so?

 

james_barnes: YES

 

 

_cl1nt has started a conversation with natromanoff_

 

 

cl1nt: nat I can sense your gay from here 

 

cl1nt: so u better not be stalking wandas profile again

 

natromanoff: im not

 

cl1nt: ...

 

natromanoff: ok so maybe ive been looking at it for a little bit

 

cl1nt: ...

 

natromanoff: ok so maybe an hour now

 

cl1nt: … 

 

natromanoff: OK SO I DIDNT STOP WHEN U TOLD ME TO

 

cl1nt: nat this is bad!

 

natromanoff: I KNOW

 

cl1nt: SHES CLEARLY NOT INTO U

 

natromanoff: well u dont know that

 

cl1nt: ugh nat stop being delusional

 

natromanoff: im not!

 

natromanoff: just give her some time and she will be falling head over heels for me

 

cl1nt: you better be right

 

cl1nt: look I just dont want to see you getting your heart broken again

 

cl1nt: especially over someone who lives on the other side of the world

 

natromanoff: wait where does she live?

 

cl1nt: new York I think

 

cl1nt: idk thats where Pietro told me he lived

 

natromanoff: wait u talked to him?

 

cl1nt: well duh

 

cl1nt: hes gay and cute

 

natromanoff: well wanda is also gay

 

cl1nt: pan* natasha, shes pan

 

natromanoff: same thing!

 

cl1nt: whatever

 

natromanoff: anyways how do u feel about going to new York?

 

cl1nt: natasha no...

 

natromanoff: NATASHA YES

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CAP WAS NOT A CAPSICLE 
> 
> I REPEAT
> 
> CAP  
> IS  
> NOT  
> A  
> CAPSICLE


	3. day 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint wants to make Natasha happy (for once). But does that mean moving to New York just to see a girl she has no chance with?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> in case it wasn't obvious
> 
>  
> 
> I love pietro
> 
>  
> 
> I will say it one more time for the people in the back
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> I LOVE PIETRO MAXIMOFF WITH ALL MY HEART
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> I also ship Vision/Ultron don't @ me

_cl1nt has started a conversation with quicksilver_

 

_Saturday, 10:59 AM_

 

 

cl1nt: ok I need help

 

quicksilver: we all do sweetie

 

cl1nt: so how obvious is it that natasha likes wanda?

 

quicksilver: very obvious

 

quicksilver: but wanda is oblivious to the gay

 

cl1nt: srsly? im more straight than gay but my gaydar is telling me that its too obvious

 

quicksilver: its bcoz of wandas breakup

 

cl1nt: with who

 

quicksilver: idk the guys real name but she called him Vis sometimes

 

cl1nt: what does he look like

 

quicksilver: a dork

 

cl1nt: wow descriptive

 

quicksilver: anyways he left wanda for his half-brother

 

cl1nt: so he reunited with his family?

 

quicksilver: no

 

quicksilver: hes dating his half brother

 

cl1nt: e w 

 

quicksilver: anyways the guys name is Ultron I think

 

cl1nt: wow their poor parents

 

quicksilver: so Ultron is like this rlly tough gangster who sells drugs

 

quicksilver: tbh I used to have a crush on him but then I remember that hes a weirdo

 

cl1nt: do u have Vis or Ultron's @ ?

 

quicksilver: wanda has Vis @ but I think she also knows Ultrons @ but wont tell me

 

cl1nt: aha

 

quicksilver: why do u need to know?

 

cl1nt: bcoz I need to make sure that natasha doesnt find him and kill him

 

quicksilver: she can kill him for all I care about

 

quicksilver: Vis was a total dick to me

 

quicksilver: he would always take up wandas time and im pretty sure that he forced her to do everything he wanted

 

cl1nt: so now that hes gone she doesnt know what to do?

 

quicksilver: yup

 

cl1nt: hey Pietro?

 

quicksilver: yee?

 

cl1nt: how do u feel about me and nat coming to new York?

 

quicksilver: THAT WOULD BE GREAT!!!!!!!

 

cl1nt: rlly? 

 

quicksilver: yee!!!

 

cl1nt: I mean like moving there. not visiting

 

quicksilver: EVEN BETTER

 

cl1nt: lit

 

 

_in the group chat_

 

 

quicksilver: guys you should all come to NY

 

americanboy: I already am

 

quicksilver: *gasp* R E A L Y

 

americanboy: yeah I live in Brooklyn 

 

quicksilver: N I C E yOU SHOULD COME VISIT ME AND WANDA IN QUEENS

 

americanboy: ill be right over

 

americanboy: PM me your address

 

quicksilver: * _private information that I cannot say in fanfics :)_ _*_

 

americanboy: great ill see u then

 

therealtonystark ✔️: ill be there too

 

quicksilver: rllY?

 

therealtonystark ✔️: yeah!

 

therealtonystark ✔️: I live in Manhattan

 

quicksilver: sq UA D GOALS

 

americanboy: plz no

 

scarletw1tch: what?

 

quicksilver: were gonna be having guests in a second

 

scarletw1tch: but im too lazy to clean up :/

 

americanboy: thats okay idc how ur place looks

 

therealtonystark ✔️: same here

 

scarletw1tch: great

 

natromanoff: I wanna come :(

 

cl1nt: nat hush

 

quicksilver: thats okay

 

quicksilver: maybe another time ;)

 

scarletw1tch: nu

 

cl1nt: maybe ;)

 

natromanoff: …

 

scarletw1tch: ...

 

natromanoff: did I miss something?

 

scarletw1tch: I?d?k?

 

cl1nt: u cant handle our friendship

 

quicksilver: it is pure and magical

 

cl1nt: LIKE PONIES

 

quicksilver: YE S PONIES

 

americanboy: …

 

thehulk: ...

 

thehulk: im so confused... 

 

thehulk: but I live in NY too

 

quicksilver: THEN CMON

 

thehulk: ill be there in maybe an hour

 

quicksilver: thats kool

 

therealtonystark ✔️: Y E S

 

therealtonystark ✔️: quick question

 

therealtonystark ✔️: why is ur username thehulk? 

 

thehulk: the used to be my nick name when I made this account

 

therealtonystark ✔️: but wh y?

 

thehulk: why not?

 

therealtonystark ✔️: 

 

scarletw1tch: *steals meme*

 

therealtonystark ✔️: hey thats my meme!

 

scarletw1tch: youll never get me alive!!!!

 

natromanoff: lol!!

 

natromanoff: hey wanda how would u feel if I were in NY?

 

scarletw1tch: violated

 

scarletw1tch: assaulted

 

scarletw1tch: violatedx2

 

scarletw1tch: did I mention violated?

 

natromanoff: would you be happy at all to see me?

 

scarletw1tch: meh not rlly

 

natromanoff: :,(

 

natromanoff: im gonna cri

 

scarletw1tch: NU DONT DO THAT

 

natromanoff: ima cri

 

scarletw1tch: NU NATASHA NU CRI

 

scarletw1tch: WHEN U CRI I CRI 

 

natromanoff: (つ﹏<。)

 

scarletw1tch: 

 

natromanoff: :;(∩´﹏`∩);:

 

scarletw1tch: (((（´・ω・；`）)))

 

cl1nt: what

 

americanboy: the

 

quicksilver; fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> how about some Vision/Ultron tmrw?


	4. day 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gwen Poole and Gwen Stacy get online for the first time in forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> because SOMEONE broke my wandanat heart ima get back at them with some angst to make u cri

_in the group chat_

 

_Saturday, 3:00 PM_

 

gstacy: wtf happened here?

 

scarletw1tch: oh look people

 

gwenpoole: i?dont?under?stand?

 

quicksilver: me?neither?

 

gwenpoole: i like this person

 

quicksilver: it depends

 

quicksilver: do u like ponies?

 

gwenpoole: Y E S   H OE  WH O DOE SN T

 

quicksilver: I D K BUT HTEY A STUPID HOE

 

gwenpoole: woW LOOK AT ME GO I CAN MAKE FRIEN D S

 

gstacy: gwen no...

 

scarletw1tch: wow and they know each other

 

gstacy: we used to go to the same school

 

gwenpool: yeaH UNTIL U HAD TO BE SMART AND LEaV E ME

 

gstacy: im not sorry

 

gwenpoole: (;Д;)

 

gwenpoole: i thought u loved me

 

gstacy: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 

gwenpoole: mY FEELINGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

 

natromanoff: i m so confused wtf

 

gstacy: my gf is just rlly dramatic

 

gwenpoole: i m n ot u hoe

 

falcon: i see what you mean

 

gwenpoole: phuck u all ୧༼ಠ益ಠ╭∩╮༽

 

gstacy: oh honey u wish

 

gwenpoole: ಠ⌣ಠ

 

gwenpoole: (/ε＼*) ihy...

 

gstacy: ily too

 

natromanoff: THAT WORKED???

 

gstacy: yeah

 

natromanoff: TEACH ME UR WAYS

 

gstacy: um ok

 

 

_gstacy has started a conversation with natromanoff_

 

 

_Monday, 4:21 PM_

 

 

gstacy: ok who are u trying to flirt with

 

natromanoff: @ scarletw1tch

 

gstacy: hmm ok ill wait until she accepts my follow request

 

natromanoff: why?

 

gstacy: u can usually tell what kind of person they are just by looking at them

 

natromanoff: rlly?

 

gstacy: yeah

 

natromanoff: do u need me to send u some pics of her

 

gstacy: that would be useful

 

natromanoff: 

 

natromanoff: 

 

natromanoff: 

 

gstacy: ok first of all how many pics of her do u even have it says that she has like 2 pictures posted e v e r

 

gstacy: and second i think ive seen her before

 

natromanoff: where?

 

gstacy: in a commercial i think

 

gstacy: and she looked prettyyyy cozy with some other girl

 

gstacy: 

 

gstacy: do u know her?

 

gstacy: that other girl i mean

 

natromanoff: … 

 

 

_natromanoff has left the conversation_

 

 

_cl1nt has started a conversation with gstacy_

 

_Monday, 4:43 PM_

 

 

cl1nt: hey

 

gstacy: hello?

 

cl1nt: [video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYHgxp-xsLs)

 

cl1nt: that is all

 

cl1nt: u hoe

 

 

_cl1nt has left the conversation_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> don't hurt me plz i will fix it
> 
> remember, in the legendary words of dan and phil
> 
> dont cry, craft
> 
> and so far all ive been doing is crying
> 
> so im going to be a normal teenager doing through depression and play Minecraft
> 
> because "crafting cures depression" said nobody ever


	5. day 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Natasha and Wanda text each other in PMs. But, Natasha seems a bit off today. Why?

_in the group chat_

 

_Sunday, 7:21 PM_

 

 

cl1nt: PIETRo

 

quicksilver: CLINt

 

cl1nt: NAT AND I MOVEd TO NY

 

quicksilver: WAIT RLLY?

 

cl1nt: YEA

 

scarletw1tch: wait rlly?

 

cl1nt: YEAH

 

scarletw1tch: THATs AWESOME

 

natromanoff: yeah

 

natromanoff: woohoo

 

scarletw1tch: natasha whats wrong?

 

natromanoff: nothing

 

scarletw1tch: rlly?  bcoz i thought u would be more excited than that

 

natromanoff: i am excited

 

scarletw1tch: are u sure?

 

natromanoff: YEAH IM FUCKING SURE

 

natromanoff: NOW JUST GET OFF MY DICK JFC

 

 

_natromanoff has left the conversation_

 

 

scarletw1tch: … 

 

scarletw1tch: im the worst... 

 

cl1nt: no ur not!!

 

therealtonystark ✔️: NO U ARE OUR BBY THAT NEEDS TO BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS!!!!!!!!!!

 

therealtonystark ✔️: YOU ARE TO NEVER EXPERIENCE PAIN IN YOUR LIFE DO U UNDERSTAND ME!!!!??

 

scarletw1tch: oh um yes?

 

therealtonystark ✔️: there u go good talk kid

 

cool_kid16: wow

 

therealtonystark ✔️: i know im great with kids

 

cool_kid16: nice mr stark

 

therealtonystark ✔️: thanks kid

 

 

_scarletw1tch has started a conversation with natromanoff_

 

_Sunday, 8:01 PM_

 

 

scarletw1tch: are you sure youre okay?

 

natromanoff: leave me alone god damn it!

 

scarletw1tch: and why should i do that?

 

natromanoff: BECAUSE I SAID SO

 

scarletw1tch: well then i'm not going to

 

scarletw1tch: look, just tell me what the problem is and i'll get out of your hair

 

natromanoff: i cant tell u

 

scarletw1tch: why not

 

natromanoff: because then it will ruin everything!

 

scarletw1tch: no it wont

 

natromanoff: yes it will!

 

natromanoff: if i say what the problem is i'll scare you away like i do to everyone else

 

scarletw1tch: you can't scare me natasha

 

natromanoff: yes i can

 

scarletw1tch: just tell me what's wrong

 

scarletw1tch: please?

 

natromanoff: … 

 

natromanoff: its just that-

 

natromanoff: i really-

 

natromanoff: you're really...

 

natromanoff: ugh theres no way in saying it

 

scarletw1tch: just say it

 

natromanoff: … 

 

natromanoff: i really like you... 

 

scarletw1tch: is that it?

 

scarletw1tch: is that what you were so afraid of?

 

scarletw1tch: i thought you were the woman without fear 

 

natromanoff: but its true

 

natromanoff: you were able to make me go head over heels for you in the span of 5 days and rejecting my flirting. sure ive had girlfriends, had crushes, and ive slept with other girls but none of them make me feel the way i feel with you, wanda. you make me so confused that you probably think that im only joking around with you. hell, i haven't even heard your voice yet or met you in person and i already have a huge ass crush on you!

 

natromanoff: look, im sorry for wasting your time with that. if you dont even want to talk to be even again i understand

 

scarletw1tch: … 

 

scarletw1tch: didn't clint say u were in NY?

 

natromanoff: yeah?

 

scarletw1tch: meet me in Shake Shack on 8th ave

 

natromanoff: okay?

 

scarletw1tch: 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I BREAK
> 
>  
> 
> I FIX
> 
>  
> 
> i probably fucked this up even more oof


	6. day 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Guardians of the Galaxy are finally online

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PETER I THANK YOU FOR BEING THE REASON VISION IS DEAD NOW MY OTP CAN BECOME CANON SINCE WANDA IS COMING BACK IN AVENGERS 4 AND VISION IS A DED MF AND CANT INTERFERE WITH MY WANDANAT SOUL

_in the group chat_

 

_Monday, 6:00 PM_

 

 

starlord: sorry I wasn't online

 

quicksilver: its cool

 

thehulk: yeah we don't rlly care

 

starlord: oh great is it okay if I add some of my friends?

 

quicksilver: sure

 

starlord: great

 

 

_starlord has added _mantis, drax_thedestroyer, iamgroot, rocketracoon, and gam0ra to the conversation_

 

 

cl1nt: NEW FRIENDS

 

thor: ^

 

thehulk: question

 

thehulk: why is there an account for a racoon

 

starlord: its my friends insta account for his pet

 

rocketracoon: ^

 

thehulk: oh

 

thehulk: but why would you have a pet racoon?

 

rocketracoon: why dont you get off my dick, ass-wipe?

 

thehulk: look kid you don't wanna make me angry

 

rocketracoon: im a 40 year old dude, I think I can kick your ass

 

thor: oh cmon banner leave the rabbit alone

 

rocketracoon: rabbit?

 

gam0ra: get rekt

 

starlord: so whats your squad name?

 

americanboy: our what?

 

drax_thedestroyer: squad name

 

drax_thedestroyer: what do u name ur group of friends?

 

therealtonystark ✔️: hmm never thought of that?

 

thor: how about...????

 

thehulk: hmmm.....

 

cl1nt: uhhhhhh

 

therealtonystark ✔️: the justice league

 

americanboy: tony this isn't the DC world

 

therealtonysstark ✔️: damn it I wanted to be batman!

 

americanboy: no!

 

americanboy: I would be batman!

 

thehulk: ok kids what should we name ourselves?

 

americanboy: the avengers

 

therealtonystark ✔️: makes no sense

 

therealtonystark ✔️: BUT I LIKE IT

 

starlord: sweet

 

cool_kid16: does that mean I can be an avenger too?

 

therealtonystark ✔️: sure son

 

cool_kid16: OHMYGOD HE CALLED ME SON

 

starlord: aw cute

 

thor: well now that tony has a son how would u like to be my son

 

starlord: ohhhhhhhh no no no

 

starlord: not today , pirate angel

 

thor: did u just call me an angel?

 

starlord: … 

 

starlord: gotta blast!

 

cl1nt: guys can I be serious for a moment?

 

thor: sure

 

cl1nt: so nat has been missing for the entire day and she wont answer my calls

 

cl1nt: im worried that shes gonna do something stupid

 

quicksilver: odd. wanda has been gone since yesterday

 

quicksilver: she said that she would be going to shake shack to meet up with a friend

 

cl1nt: … 

 

cl1nt: ah shit do u think they killed each other?

 

quicksilver: … 

 

quicksilver: you check uptown ill check dowtown

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> guess where wandanat is ;)
> 
> hint: its a place where drunk gay ppl go to have sex with each other
> 
> and no its not my room or my mind
> 
>  
> 
> ALSO I PROMISED SOMEONE SOME THOR/STARLORD STUFF SO HERE I AM
> 
>  
> 
> FULLFILLING THAT PROMISE
> 
> and am now sweating out of all my holes
> 
>  
> 
> wait
> 
>  
> 
> are pores a hole?
> 
>  
> 
> idk my holes are moist


	7. day 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clint and Pietro look for Wanda and Natasha

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I SAID I WOULD ADD VISION/ULTRON SO OOF
> 
> I also need to get some of these otps going its already been fucking day 7 jfc

_cl1nt has started a conversation with quicksilver_

 

_Monday, 5:00 PM_

 

 

cl1nt: ive looked everywhere

 

quicksilver: so have I...

 

quicksilver: I looked in ever single Shake Shack there is in NY but they were in none of them

 

cl1nt: do u think tony steve or bruce saw them?

 

quicksilver: tony and steve haven't seen her and bruce told me to 'fuck off why would u think I know where they are?'

 

cl1nt: well I mean that's bruce in a nutshell

 

quicksilver: why doES HE HAVE TO BE SO MEAN TO ME

 

cl1nt: idk pietro

 

quicksilver: wait...

 

quicksilver: I think I might know someone who knows...

 

cl1nt: who?

 

quicksilver: … 

 

 

_quicksilver has started a conversation with cl1nt, red_toaster, and ultr0n_

 

_Monday, 5:05 PM_

 

 

quicksilver: ok dickwads wheres wanda

 

cl1nt: holy shit ive never seen u so serious

 

quicksilver: hey this is my baby sister we're dealing with

 

cl1nt: damn...

 

red_toaster: why would you think we know?

 

quicksilver: because I know you've been stalking wanda ever since you two broke up

 

red_toaster: I wasn't stalking

 

red_toaster: I was keeping my tabs on her to make sure she doesnt kill herself

 

quicksilver: yeah idrc

 

quicksilver: if you 'keep your tabs on her' then you've gotta know where she is

 

red_toaster: I ain't saying nothing

 

ultr0n: vis why do u still care about wanda?

 

ultr0n: you two broke up 

 

ultr0n: youre finito with her

 

red_toaster: I dont but I know that if she does get out of control then she needs to calm down

 

ultr0n: and how do u do that

 

red_toaster: I text her to say that she should take 5 deep breaths and think before she does something stupid

 

ultr0n: … 

 

ultr0n: so ur cheating on me?

 

red_toaster: NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONOONONONONONONONONONONONONO

 

red_toaster: ILY TOO MUCH TO DO THAT

 

red_toaster: ILY MORE THAN FRIED OREOS

 

cl1nt: holy shit he really loves him... 

 

ultr0n: OMF ILY TOO BBY

 

quicksilver: this is so sickenly cute

 

quicksilver: im puking rainbows and gay kittens

 

ultr0n: OHMYGOD KITTENS CAN BE GAY?

 

quicksilver: well if vis can be gay then yeah

 

red_toaster: I wanna say pan but yeah gay works-

 

quicksilver: anyways where wanda

 

red_toaster: the last time I checked on her was yesterday at 9:00 PM and she was in Henrietta Hudson

 

cl1nt: what?

 

quicksilver: its a lesbian bar on Hudson St

 

cl1nt: what would wanda be doing there

 

quicksilver: … 

 

cl1nt: wait...

 

cl1nt: O H

 

cl1nt: O H   O K 

 

cl1nt: alright ill go there

 

quicksilver: no ill go

 

quicksilver: I know where it is

 

cl1nt: oop ok

 

 

_about 30 minutes later in Pietro and Clint's PMs_

 

 

quicksilver: I went there and they weren't there

 

cl1nt: do u have any idea where they are now?

 

quicksilver: I asked the bar tender if she saw where they went and she said that she saw wanda and natasha getting a taxi at around midnight. she said they were both smashed

 

cl1nt: crap they could be anywhere

 

quicksilver: I would call the taxi company and ask them who they were serving at around the time they left the bar

 

cl1nt: ok

 

cl1nt: but let me do that

 

quicksilver: r u sure?

 

cl1nt: yeah

 

cl1nt: you've done enough and youre probably stressing about wanda being somewhere in the city

 

quicksilver:  yeah...

 

quicksilver: how are you so calm about nat?

 

cl1nt: shes a big girl. if she can handle Russian thugs she can handle NYC taxi drivers

 

quicksilver: ig ur right...

 

cl1nt: and the fact that wanda is with someone who can defend her makes me feel slightly more comfortable with this

 

quicksilver: well thats true

 

cl1nt: ok I just got off the phone with the taxi company

 

quicksilver: what did they say?

 

cl1nt: they said that they took wanda and nat to a motel in brooklyn

 

quicksilver: wait doesnt steve live in Brooklyn?

 

cl1nt: yeah!

 

cl1nt: ill ask him rn

 

 

_cl1nt has started a conversation with americanboy_

 

 

cl1nt: do u think u could pick wanda and natasha up at this motel?

 

cl1nt: *insert address here*

 

americanboy: uh sure

 

americanboy: do u want me to take them to my place or take them back home

 

cl1nt: whatever they feel like

 

americanboy: ok

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> want me to have steve pick wanda and natasha up next chapter? it wont be texting but it will be gay (ig) (everything I write is gay I need to stfu)


	8. day 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve helps find the two raging lesbians

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> good morning human simulation that we live in ;3

_americanboy has started a conversation with natromanoff and scarletw1tch_

 

_Tuesday, 12:01 AM_

 

 

americanboy: nat?

 

americanboy: wanda?

 

americanboy: anyone?

 

americanboy: look I know where you guys are and im coming to pick you up

 

natromanoff: no

 

natromanoff: I dont wanna go

 

natromanoff: wanda and I are happy here

 

americanboy: you guys can be happy somewhere else

 

natromanoff: no

 

americanboy: look can I talk to wanda?

 

natromanoff: no

 

natromanoff: shes sleeping and the queen needs her rest

 

americanboy: omg...

 

americanboy: look clint and Pietro are rlly worried about the two of you

 

americanboy: they've been looking for you for two days now and idk if Pietro can take it anymore

 

natromanoff: ...

 

natromanoff: but wanda looks so cute when she's asleep...

 

americanboy: I bet she does but u gotta get wanda home now

 

natromanoff: can we just stay here for the night?

 

americanboy: no otherwise clint is gonna cut my head off and feed it to pietro

 

natromanoff: … 

 

natromanoff: but that means that wanda and I will be separated 

 

americanboy: how?

 

natromanoff: Pietro wont let wanda out of the house

 

americanboy: how come?

 

natromanoff: bcoz hes scared that shes going to hurt herself

 

americanboy: shes a big girl, nat

 

natromanoff: no u dont understand

 

natromanoff: most of her life she does what he ex wanted to do and now that he's gone she doesnt know what to do anymore

 

americanboy: still doesnt make sense

 

natromanoff: HES SCARED THAT SHE WILL TRY TO GET HERSELF RUN OVER BY A BUS BECAUSE SHE DOESNT KNOW WHAT TO DO ANYMORE

 

americanboy: o shit

 

americanboy: you guys can stay by my place for the night then

 

natromanoff: really?

 

americanboy: sure

 

americanboy: you guys can get the bed, ill take the couch

 

natromanoff: oh no steve we cant do that

 

americanboy: I insist

 

natromanoff: … 

 

natromanoff: ok

 

americanboy: great do u need me to pick u guys up

 

natromanoff: NO

 

natromanoff: ….. ok yes....

 

americanboy: i'll be there in 10

 

natromanoff: ill see u the rogers

 

americanboy: see ya romanoff

 

 

_in Steve and Pietro's PMs_

 

_Tuesday, 12:30 AM_

 

 

americanboy: wandasha is staying in my place for the night

 

quicksilver: wandasha?

 

americanboy: wanda and Natasha's ship name

 

quicksilver: oh no no no

 

quicksilver: their ship name is wandanat

 

americanboy: that sounds stupid

 

quicksilver: theres one that beats all the ship names

 

quicksilver: MOFFNOFF

 

americanboy: WHAT THE FRICK

 

quicksilver: ITS AmAZING

 

americanboy: its not...

 

americanboy: its really not...

 

americanboy: ill bring WANDASHA TOMORROW TONIGHT THEY'RE STAYING WITH ME

 

quicksilver: OK LL SEE WANDANAT TOMORROw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my parents are making me watch black kkkman tmrw (I dont even want to watch it the last movie I actually saw was mission impossible: fallout because whenever I go to the movies I remember that my heart got broken in theater 5 in AMC on Apirl 27, 2018) and I have a boOK REPORT TO MAKE so I made this a little early in case im not online tomorrow


	9. day 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't even know what happens

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING
> 
> IM JUST RLLY STREDD FROM THIS HUGE ASS BOOK REPORT FOR SCHOOL AND I MADE THE JV VOLLEYBALL TEAM (one of the only freshman mind u) AND THAT TAKES A LOT OF EFFOT TO DO
> 
> I RLLY AM ONLY UPDATING BCOZ I GOT A NEW CRUSH
> 
> AND THEY FAM ZONED ME
> 
> NOT FRIEND ZONED
> 
> FAM ZONED
> 
> SHE CALLS ME MOM NOW
> 
> AND THEN ROBBIE ROTTEN DIED
> 
> AND IM SO DEPRESSED I CANT EVEN-

_in the Avengers groupchat_

 

_Sunday, 5:50 PM_

 

 

cl1nt: GUYS

 

cl1nt: GUYS

 

cl1nt: guYS

 

quicksilver: WHAT DO U WANT HOE

 

cl1nt: ROBBIE ROTTEN

 

cl1nt: HE DIED

 

quicksilver: oh shit

 

quicksilver: oh shit

 

scarletw1tch: NONONONONONONONNONONONONONONONON

 

scarletw1tch: LIES

 

scarletw1tch: U SPEK OF LIESSSSSSSS

 

natromanoff: oh my god...

 

natromanoff: no...

 

natromanoff: NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

 

cl1nt: I CANT EVEN RN-

 

quicksilver: wanda are you okay?

 

scarletw1tch: IM FINE

 

quicksilver: I CAN HEAR WE ARE NUMBER ONE BEING PLAYED THROUGH THE WALLS ARE YOU SURE

 

scarletw1tch: NO

 

scarletw1tch: NAT CAN U COME OVER 

 

natromanoff: ok do u want me to bring anything

 

scarletw1tch: ...

 

natromanoff: what flavor ice cream?

 

scarletw1tch: ...

 

natromanoff: I dont think 7/11 has that but i'll check

 

scarletw1tch; thank youu

 

natromanoff: yeah yeah yeah

 

scarletw1tch: :)))))))))))

 

quicksilver: I want ice cream too...

 

natromanoff: what flavor

 

quicksilver: Robbie rotten...

 

natromanoff: I dont think they have legends at 7/11 either

 

cl1nt: IM JUST SO DEPRESSED RN-

 

cl1nt: WHY DO THE GOOD ONES GO

 

natromanoff: its a cruel world

 

scarletw1tch: y are u still texting get ur gay ass over here

 

natromanoff: oop duty calls

 

quicksilver: ahahahahah

 

quicksilver: u said duty

 

scarletw1tch: PIETRO I WILL BEAT U WITH A CHANCLA I STG

 

quicksilver: nu plz don hurt me I have so much to live for

 

quicksilver: I have a wife and family I have to care for

 

scarletw1tch: the refrigerator is not ur wife pietro

 

scarletw1tch: the microwave and the coffee machine aren't your family either

 

quicksilver: … 

 

quicksilver: damn it...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> REST IN PIECE STEPHAN KARL STEFANSSON 
> 
> YOU WILL ALWAYS BE NUMBER ONE IN MY EYES AND IN MY HEART


	10. day 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk I didn't have practice until the afternoon and my friend isn't responding to my love and attention so

_in the Avengers chat_

 

_Monday, 3:02 AM_

 

 

scarletw1tch: im bored again

 

quicksilver: it

 

quicksilver: is

 

quicksilver: 3 am

 

quicksilver: again

 

quicksilver: go

 

quicksilver: to

 

quicksilver: fucking

 

quicksilver: sleep

 

quicksilver: u

 

quicksilver: little

 

quicksilver: shit

 

scarletw1tch: ...

 

scarletw1tch: no

 

quicksilver: ...

 

quicksilver: nat, wandas bullying me make it stop

 

natromanoff: wanda stop

 

scarletw1tch: no

 

natromanoff: o well I tried

 

quicksilver: ;-;

 

quicksilver: u are the worst sister in law ever

 

natromanoff: thank you

 

scarletw1tch: natashaaaaaaaaaaa

 

scarletw1tch: come overrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

 

natromanoff: but

 

natromanoff: but

 

scarletw1tch: im not wearing panties

 

natromanoff: WHOOP LOOK AT THAT CLINT ILL BE BACK IN THE MORNING

 

scarletw1tch: I also got some new things

 

natromanoff: MAKE THAT THE AFTERNOON

 

cl1nt: ...

 

cl1nt: why...

 

quicksilver: ;-;

 

cl1nt: ;-;

 

_2 hours later_

 

quicksilver: THEYRE STILL AT IT

 

cl1nt: H O W

 

quicksilver: IDK BUT THEYRE SO LOUD IM GONNA CRI

 

cl1nt: NFSINGIOSBIFBUOISRHBGIRUVFSOIBSOE

 

quicksilver: can I stay with u tonight...

 

quicksilver: I have work tmrw and I cant sleep from the sounds of screaming and the bed being banged against the wall...

 

cl1nt: plz do

 

cl1nt: nobody should have to suffer from that

 

americanboy: I come online to see this...

 

quicksilver: im thankful I dont have a girlfriend

 

americanboy: so am i

 

james_barnes: but u have a boyfriend

 

quicksilver: what

 

cl1nt: what

 

therealtonystark ✔️: what

 

thehulk: what

 

thor: what

 

starlord: what

 

_manits: what

 

americanboy: yeah

 

james_barnes: its me btw

 

therealtonystark ✔️: BAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHA

 

therealtonystark ✔️: nice joke steev

 

americanboy: im not joking

 

falcon: UR DATING A FURRY IIAFNSIUHGOIFASHBIFOFA

 

falcon: I CANT EVEN ANYMORE-

 

americanboy: shut up sam

 

james_barnes: yeah shut up sam

 

falcon: ...

 

falcon: im not wanted here...

 

 

_therealtonystark has started a conversation with thehulk_

 

therealtonystark ✔️: yano how ur my bsf rite?

 

thehulk: no

 

therealtonystark✔️: anyways im about to tell u something that u cant tell anyone

 

thehulk: let me guess

 

thehulk: you have a crush on steve and u rlly dont like bucky rn

 

therealtonystark ✔️: ...

 

therealtonystark ✔️: WHO TOLD U

 

thehulk: nat told me

 

therealtonystark ✔️: but I didn't tell her...

 

thehulk: no, but she is good at figuring this stuff out

 

therealtonystark ✔️: ...

 

therealtonystark ✔️: are u sure she isn't a spy?

 

thehulk: idk

 

thehulk: I wouldn't know

 

thehulk: she wouldn't tell me

 

therealtonystark ✔️: but I got an idea

 

thehulk: thats usually never good

 

therealtonystark ✔️: fuk u-

 

therealtonystark ✔️: hey I can tell that u used to like nat

 

thehulk: what-

 

therealtonystark ✔️: but guess what

 

therealtonystark: 

 

thehulk: I dont like nat like that! jfc!

 

therealtonystark ✔️: I know I just wanted to use that meme

 

thehulk: ...

 

therealtonystark ✔️: anyways I wanna make steve jealous

 

thehulk: but he as a boyfriend?

 

therealtonystark ✔️: I know

 

therealtonystark ✔️: but if he did share my feelings then he wouldn't like the thought of me dating someone else

 

thehulk: and why are u telling me this?

 

thehulk: oh no...

 

therealtonystark ✔️: WERE DOING IT U HAVE NO CHOICE

 

thehulk: ...

 

thehulk: fine...

 

thehulk: but only because I want to make thor jealous

 

thehulk: that starlord guy is too cozy with him

 

therealtonystark ✔️: Y A Y

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow my scarletwidow twitter
> 
> incscarletwidow


	11. day 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> stucky vs sciencebros

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a new TV today :))))
> 
> and I thought my ex still had a crush on me but thaNK BUCKY THEY DONT I THOUGHT I WOULD AHVE TO CALL THE COPS FOR VIOLATION

_in the Avengers chat_

 

therealtonystark ✔️: thank u for coming out to us steve

 

americanboy: but I wasn't straight when we met

 

therealtonystark ✔️: but u have inspired me to come out

 

james_barnes: steve I dont like where this is going

 

therealtonystark ✔️: bruce and I are dating!!!

 

americanboy: what

 

americanboy: who

 

americanboy: when

 

americanboy: how

 

james_barnes: uh congrats I guess?

 

thehulk: thank you

 

natromanoff: BAHAHAHAHA BRUCIE BEAR I DIDNT THINK U HAD IT IN U

 

thehulk: stfu nat (つ﹏⊂)

 

natromanoff: no

 

thor: congrats bruce! im very happy for you!

 

thehulk: thanks thor

 

starlord: yeah, what the pirate angel said

 

thor: U SAID IT AGAIN

 

_mantis: well he's not wrong

 

gam0ra: ^

 

thor: ...

 

thor: I hate you all

 

thehulk: except me right?

 

thor: bruce we all love you

 

thor: especially me

 

starlord: heyyy

 

starlord: what about meeeee?

 

thor: u can have fun with the rabbit

 

rocketracoon: RABBIT??

 

thehulk: HAH I HAVE THORS LOVE AND ATTENTION

 

starlord: ...

 

starlord: im gonna cri

 

thor: NU DONT DO THAT

 

thor: ILY TOO

 

starlord: Y A Y

 

_in tony and bruce's PMs_

 

therealtonystark ✔️: it ain't working

 

thehulk: no shiT SHERLOCK

 

therealtonystark ✔️: wait I got an idea

 

thehulk: us dating was a one of your ideas. and it wasn't good

 

therealtonystark ✔️: stfu brucie bear

 

thehulk: ...

 

therealtonystark ✔️: THE SUNS GETTING REAL LOW

 

thehulk: I HATE U SM

 

 

_therealtonystark has added thehulk, james_barnes, americanboy, natromanoff, and scarletw1tch to the conversation_

 

_therealtonystark has named the chat Gayvengers_

 

 

natromanoff: what is the point of being here

 

scarletw1tch: ^

 

therealtonystark ✔️: idc about u guys u can go back to having sex or whatever lesbians do

 

scarletw1tch: ...

 

scarletw1tch: OK

 

therealtonystark ✔️: so bucky, how did u and steeb start dating?

 

james_barnes: I just asked him if he wanted to be my boyfriend and said yes

 

therealtonystark ✔️: but you guys haven't even seen each other in person

 

james_barnes: so?

 

james_barnes: we still think that we could still be a good match for each other

 

therealtonystark ✔️: if u want my opinion I say you should date someone who lives where you live

 

james_barnes: well nobody lives in Russia anymore

 

americanboy: then move in with me

 

therealtonystark ✔️: wait what-

 

james_barnes: you sure?

 

americanboy: totally

 

americanboy: you can move in anytime you want

 

therealtonystark ✔️: youre kidding right?

 

americanboy: no

 

americanboy: bucky is so nice to me, hot, and isn't sarcastic

 

therealtonystark ✔️: :(

 

therealtonystark ✔️: ouch...

 

therealtonystark ✔️: but steeb I luv u

 

therealtonystark ✔️: 

 

americanboy: …

 

therealtonystark ✔️: 

 

americanboy: ...

 

therealtonystark ✔️: lub me steeb

 

americanboy: …

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for your loss trailer has made me cry more than I should have
> 
>  
> 
> BUT LIKE LIZZIE WHO HURT U BBY UR NOT SUPPOSED TO FEEL PAIN


	12. day 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ugh lesbians

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oofie school's been a bitch. I should probs mention that I rlly only write when my phone went poOF or during the summer only or I got that one friend on twitter yelling at me to update
> 
> HOE I GOTCHU

_in Nat and Wanda's DMs_

 

_12:20 AM_

 

natromanoff: WANDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 

natromanoff: BBYYYYYYY

 

scarletw1tch: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT

 

natromanoff: can u come over ;~;

 

scarletw1tch: nat it is literally midnight

 

natromanoff: I got a code ouchie again ;~;

 

scarletw1tch: oH FUCK WHAT HAPPENED 

 

natromanoff: a lot of shit...

 

scarletw1tch: BBY NU I GOTTA PROTECC ILL BE THERE IN 5

 

natromanoff: but u dont even know why im in code ouchie

 

scarletw1tch: ur in code ouchie that's all that matters. im coming to make u not feel any ouchie

 

natromanoff: so I got period cramps

 

scarletw1tch: NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

 

natromanoff: so while I was making the birb woman his dinner I accidentally cut my finger with a knife from clutching my ouch ouch area...

 

scarletw1tch: FUKIN GA S P

 

natromanoff: that then I stumbled backwards into a stove that was one and got a burn on my back...

 

scarletw1tch: FGSNLIDGUZHIDJVzrydhkesufyuri

 

natromanoff: and then I fell...

 

natromanoff: wandaaaaaaa it hurtssssssssssssssssss

 

scarletw1tch: BBY IM OUTSIDE UR APARTMENT

 

natromanoff: do u have ice cream?

 

scarletw1tch: yee. I got ur disgusting java chip

 

natromanoff: IT IS NOT DISGUSTING U AND UR MINT CHIP ARE GROSS AND WEIRD

 

scarletw1tch: U TAKE THAT BACK

 

natromanoff: only if u can get me off the floor ;~;

 

scarletw1tch: oh bby...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanna do a chapter where nat and vision meet and just like
> 
> YEE E E T


	13. day 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *this user has been revived because of: gay*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oofie I guess my hiatus was only for a little bit

_in Tony and Bruce's DMs_

 

thehulk: you need another plan

 

therealtonystark ✔️: why?

 

thehulk: because nat is making science bros edits and posting them

 

therealtonystark ✔️: well now I know who im blocking after I get home

 

thehulk: wait ur texting and driving?

 

therealtonystark ✔️: relax big guy, I got a self driving car

 

thehulk: oh right youre rich...

 

therealtonystark ✔️: which is why u love me :)

 

thehulk: tru tru

 

therealtonystark ✔️: excuse me what :((

 

therealtonystark ✔️: you should love me for my personality

 

thehulk: but ur personality sucks

 

therealtonystark ✔️: UGH UR THE WORST BOYFRIEND EVER

 

thehulk: tony im not your boyfriend

 

therealtonystark ✔️: im breaking up with you

 

thehulk: tony plz this is unnecessary

 

therealtonystark ✔️: im sorry banner, but that's how it has to be

 

thehulk: it doesnt

 

thehulk: it really doesnt

 

therealtonystark ✔️: welp im glad we had this talk

 

therealtonystark ✔️: im gonna go steal bucky's boyfriend now byeeeeeeeeeee

 

thehulk: tony wait ur gonna get ur ass beat

 

_therealtonystark has left the conversation_

 

thehulk: I wanna kashoot myself...

 

thehulk: 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oofy doofy my updates are getting shorter what should I do
> 
> tell me or I call the police


	14. day 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> my hetero friend told me to put more spiderman or deadpool in here
> 
> so I did
> 
> the gwens. I love them a lot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda forgot that my account existed for like a hot minute
> 
> alix is sorry
> 
> alix will try harder

_in the group chat_

 

thehulk: guys tony and I broke up

 

americanboy: sad bruce hours

 

thehulk: he broke up with me but tbh idc

 

natromanoff: :((

 

thehulk: so nat plz delet the edts por favor

 

natromanoff: but...

 

natromanoff: but they are my kids

 

scarlet_w1tch: our*

 

natromanoff: sorry our kids

 

cool_kid16: hey guys do you ever just drop your pants down and put your butt in the freezer?

 

gstacy: stop watching nickelodeon

 

cool_kid16: no

 

gstacy: ack

 

gwenpoole: pete can I come over and watch nickelodeon too ;-;?

 

cool_kid16: if you wanna drive from the west coast to new York then ok

 

gwenpoole: yeAH I MAY HAVE GOTTEN MY LISENCE SISTER SUSPENDED FOR LIKE A WEEK AGO SO GIMME LIKE A HOT MINUTE FOR IT TO SUSPENDN'T

 

gstacy: excuse ME WHAT

 

gwenpoole: eek

 

cool_kid16: gwen no

 

gwenpoole: which one?

 

gstacy: which one?

 

gstacy: ...

 

cool_kid16: ...

 

natromanoff: ...

 

thehulk: ...

 

falcon: ...

 

gwenpoole: idk why we're all going … but

 

gwenpoole: ...

 

natromanoff: is she really this dumb?

 

gstacy: yah

 

cool_kid16: before she moved away she was even dumber

 

gstacy: yah

 

gwenpoole: >:(

 

gwenpoole: why do you guys bully me?

 

gstacy: you're an easy target

 

cool_kid16: ^

 

gwenpoole: ok well-

 

gwenpoole: peter you're a poopi head u can't spell

 

gwenpoole: gwen you're a poopi head u dont show love

 

deadpool: roast ME NEXT

 

gwenpoole: no youre sweet and precious we all love you

 

deadpool: …

 

deadpool: *^~^*

 

gwenpoole: this is my new best friend

 

deadpool: toasty

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> follow my twitter. it's bxchlasagna. plz follow it. I kinda expose myself and get ideas from there. sometimes i say when i update. but they are never right so honestly just follow me because you love me


	15. day 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> because AO3 didn't update this im making a part 2 of my kids

_Spiderverse chat_

 

cool_kid16: hey remember when we made this?

 

gstacy: no

 

cool_kid16: oh cool

 

gwenpoole: can we add some of the amigos from the other chat?

 

gstacy: no

 

cool_kid16: YAH

 

_gwenpoole has added Deadpool_

 

deadpool: GWENIE

 

gwenpoole: WADEYYYYYY

 

gstacy: ...

 

gstacy: ok how old are you and why are you talking to my boo bear

 

gstacy: my cinnamon apple

 

gstacy: my dumbass sweetheart

 

gwenpoole: gwen stop im blushing

 

gstacy: ;))))))))))))

 

deadpool: :0

 

deadpool: wow lesbians

 

gwenpoole: hell yeah 😎

 

cool_kids16: can I add nattie and mr stark?

 

gstacy: no

 

gwenpoole: y E S

 

_cool_kid16 has added natromanoff to the conversation_

 

_cool_kid16 has added therealtonystark to the conversation_

 

cool_kid16: :)

 

natromanoff: spiderverse?

 

cool_kid16: me and gwen (the blonde one not the pink one) originally were the two kids in our school who were really into spiders

 

gwenpoole: then I came and fucked up the clan 😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎😎

 

gstacy: ...

 

gstacy: pretty much yeah

 

natromanoff: oh sweet ig spiders are cool  


gstacy: which spider would u be

 

natromanoff: uhhhhhhhhhh

 

gstacy: im a crab spider

 

milesmorales: im a tarantula

 

cool_kid16: im a common house spider :))))))))

 

gwenpoole: and wade and I are just the build-a-bear rejects ;D

 

deadpool: HELL YEAH

 

p3niparker: hey sorry I just got my phone back

 

porksnstuff: wb

 

noiraraige: idc any spider thats black

 

cool_kid16: ...

 

cool_kid16: dont mind him he's colorblind and emo

 

noiraraige: hey I look like Nicolas cage I should have rights

 

p3niparker: I wanna be a robot spider!!!!!!

 

gstacy: peni go home

 

natromanoff: wow you all got the best ones,,

 

gwenpoole: just putting this out there, but u could be a black widow

 

natromanoff: ...

 

natromanoff: holy shit gwen that has now officially been the first and only good idea you will ever have

 

gwenpoole: ;DDDDDDDDDDDD

 

 

 

 

 

 

_in Nat and Wanda's PMs_

 

 

 

 

natromanoff: WANDA BBY IM A BLACK WIDOW

 

scarlet_w1tch: ...

 

scarlet_w1tch: what?

 

natromanoff: the baby spider people liked me enough to make me a spider and now i'm soft

 

scarlet_w1tch: ...

 

scarlet_w1tch: ohmygodilyandthekids

 

natromanoff: can we keeP THEM PLEASE?

 

scarlet_w1tch: only if you don't blow them off

 

natromanoff: I would jump off a cliff for them

 

therealtonystark✔️: oh snap

 

scarlet_w1tch: when tf did you get here?

 

therealtonystark✔️: im rich I can do whatever tf I want

 

scarlet_w1tch: oh

 

natromanoff: damn it tony

 

therealtonystark✔️: :)

 

natromanoff: >:(

 

therealtonystark✔️: :(

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao I saw endgame and I seriously need to be superglued back together
> 
> also I might make a lot of references to endgame because it's my way of grieving but you just wont know it


End file.
